Talking with a Non-Player about ESO Classes

Have you ever tried to explain an MMO to a non-gamer? It can be the most fun and insanity you can legally have, as well as extremely frustrating. I got to talking with my sister about ESO the other day. I mentioned picking up a new game, and she asked about it. She's pretty cool but the only games she is interested in are casual ones, so an MMO like ESO is completely foreign to her ("Wait a minute," she says, can't you just use English! What the hell is an "MMO" anyway?" "A Massive Multiplayer Online Game. Technically i should say MMOG, or even MMORPG, because--" "STOP!") We haven't even gotten to what the game is about and already she's complaining of a headache. ("Well, now you know how I feel when you and Dad talk sports!" I reply.)

Eventually she decides to just not ask about the jargon, while I try and talk around words that aren't in Webster's Dictionary as much as possible. (xp? stats? leveling?--"Isn't that a carpentry thing?" she asks) And we finally get to character gen. "You pick a character class," I tell her, "that determines what your character can do." "Like playing offensive or defensive?" "No, any character can attack or defend."

There are four ESO classes, DragonKnights ("Do they ride on dragons?--Oh, you mean they turn into dragons!" "Sort of, not exactly. Maybe?") DragonKnights are the basic fighter class ("I thought the whole game was fighting, so why isn't everyone a fighter?"--long diversion there.) So, like I was saying, DragonKnight is the basic fighter class, they have a mix of physical attacks and magical attacks, and are really good at tanking. ("You don't mean they turn into tanks...right?" We interrupt this discussion with a special bulletin on MMO combat roles!)

Next come Nightblades ("Are they like assassins?" "Yes! Sometimes..they can be.") Nightblades, I explain are like D&D rogues. (And that was a mistake--"Oh god, not that stupid game again!") Ahem. So Nightblades can be really good at sneaking and attacking from ambush. They can also help other players by weakening enemies and stuff. They were the most popular class in the beta game. ("Of course they were. Who wouldn't want to be a sneaky, nasty assassin. Don't tell me--they're your favorite class!" "Um..Hm..look at the time!")

Sorcerers are the magic users of the ESO classes ("But you said the other two classes, Dragon-Whatsis and Nightblade use magic!" "Well, yes, but...ESO classes..." "Oh, never mind. Tell you what, let's go out for lunch together and talk about something real for a bit. What did you think of the NFL draft pick?") Does anyone else's family have the strange illusion that their games are real and yours are just some imaginary pretend thing?

We never didn't get to Templars...probably just as well. At least my family tries to understand my hobbies. That's a good thing...right?